Real Talk: Travel Anxiety

Maybe you didn’t know that I have a lot of anxiety when I travel. I get excited to book trips because I want to see everything in the world. I talk about my trip for months ahead. I love writing up itineraries and thinking about where to go and what to see.

Then about 2 weeks before the flight, the anxiety sets in. I pack my clothes wondering if I will wear them, I randomly burst in to tears wondering why I feel the need to see the world. I start to feel like these are my last days...while I was deciding which jewelry to pack with me I have thoughts like “should I bring this? If I die, papa would want this necklace.” I imagine horrible moments where my parents hear that there was an accident in whatever country I am in and they call each other trying to find out more information because they can’t get in touch with me.

This happens literally every time I go anywhere. Sometimes even just going to work. Nyc is a dangerous place too! My dad says “if you could predict the future, why don’t you buy a lottery ticket”. Adam is learning how to comfort me when I’m randomly crying hysterically about dying. Usually I can control it quickly, even though the thoughts are hard to shut off.

I take Xanax and wine to fly. A doctor might tell you not to mix those two substances however I believe they work quite well together! This is really the only way I can get on the plane without crying. I’ve taken short flights without Xanax and let’s just say, I usually feel bad for the people sitting next to me.

I am pretty open about my anxiety, usually laughing and telling people about it jokingly. It’s a real thing though, and I feel very lucky to be alive and well in France right now.

Photo Credit: Nicole took this as our first photo on our Morocco trip!