From Lisbon to Home

With experience comes knowledge and I knew that Lisbon airport is a mess. Although our flight was at 10:30, we had a car to return and I remember that at Lisbon airport it takes a long time to get from the check in to the gate. We decided to be out the door of our hotel at 7am.

Our rental car was parked in a lot down the block which cost $7 a day. We arrived there with the ticket and scanned it on the machine. I try to figure out where to put my card to pay the $14 and it’s not working. A real man’s voice comes over the machine “This machines does not take cards, you need cash”.

Now, I always travel with cash, but being that it’s our last hour and all, I had spent my final $10 on the tuk tuk ride yesterday. The man’s voice advised us to go to the ATM across the street. Problem #2, neither one of us had brought a debit card, we both have two credit cards each. The ATM will not accept the CCs. We try all 4 cards, then go to another ATM, try all 4 again, no luck. The machine wants a pin but none of these cards have a pin.

We go back to the machine and try to reason with the man. I tell him the ATMs are not working, there are no open businesses, I tell him I have US dollars, we have a flight to catch. He says this is not his problem, we need cash, we should have been prepared, it was on the ticket (in Portuguese), and we must find cash. I can feel my eyes filling up in panic.

There is a man behind us in line, he’s from Finland. He says “do you need help?” and we explain the situation, I give him 20 usd for the 14 euro that we need, and this man saves us! As we drive away, I can hear the machine man continuing to reprimand us to the Finnish guy as he checks out.

Thank goodness we left early, since we lost about 30 minutes to the car parking situation. We arrive at the airport with only one wrong turn, return the car with barely any incident (as Chris took a video of the car, the very unfriendly car man said threateningly “don’t video me”), and get to the line to check our bags. The lady says “be aware, passport control is full and your flight closes at 10”. It’s about 8:20 at the time.

I know this, I’ve been here before. This airport is a trap! We go through security. Then, you enter a beautiful mall: sparking shops full of duty free items, tempting restaurants, inviting seating areas…but I tell Chris, don’t stop. This is a false flag. We must get to the gate. We walk and walk through this mall area and just when I think maybe I was wrong and the gate is nearby…bam! Passport control! It’s about 8:44 because Chris says “we have an hour and 16 minutes”.

That line took every bit of that hour, as we zigged and zagged through the stanchions watching people beg the security guards to let them go through, silently cry that they were about to miss their flight, panic as they watched the time on their phones, and of course the people who absolutely lost their minds. The first guy ducked under the stanchions cutting everyone, apologizing at least but also his big backpack hitting each stanchion and other people along the way. The next guy lost his mind, basically throwing the stanchions and yelling as he barreled through causing chaos. Every once in awhile you would hear a commotion as someone tried to cut the line. A man ahead of us took to yelling out “LINE JUMPER” every time someone tried to cut him. I feel bad that people are late for their flights, but if you let enough people cut, you won’t make your flight either. We were relatively calm, amused by the insane line around us. Lisbon airport is unclear that you cannot stop and shop and your gate is not just around the corner.

We arrived to the flight just as boarding group 2 was finishing and walked right onto the plane. It was a full flight, so unfortunately we didn’t get the row to ourselves, the seat was filled literally at the last second. It was still empty on the seat map when we sat down.

I’d love to say the adventures end there but as I only took one Xanax and the plane bumped all the way home, I was a nightmare to fly with.

When we landed, Chris turned on his phone to find that his flight home to San Francisco was canceled and they were going to reroute him all over the country. Instead, we got a bonus night of vacation in NJ. Certainly an eventful travel day but the stories are why we go on these adventures, right?

Until next time my few readers :)